He who does not have the courage to speak up for his rights cannot earn the respect of others. -René G. Torres

I was glad that Dawn had decided to leave the business. She hadn't given much notice but she was young and she wanted to go out and live her life. I might have been a little peeved that she couldn't have decided that a few months ago but I was glad that she was going through with it now. Especially since it was right before Cordelia decided to drop the bomb on us. Us now being me.

When Cordelia turned around from putting something on one of the bookshelves I was standing right behind her with my arms folded over my chest. She gasped a little and took a step back before narrowing her eyes at me.

"Ok, in case you missed the memo? We already filled the slot of the one who sneaks up on people all rude like." Cordelia seethed as she glared at me.

"Yeah, about that." I started right in on her. "It never occurred to you to maybe give me a head's up that Angel was gonna be working here?" I demanded. Ok, so Cordelia and I were never going to be best friends but we had a sort of partnership going on here for awhile. I let her stay with me in my house and she still treated me like I was just an employee. Technically, I was her employee but I wanted to remind her that she wouldn't be fighting any beasties without me. And now, she had someone else to do that for her. I thought that maybe she had enough respect for me to talk to me about Angel coming to work here but who am I kidding? This is Cordelia we're talking about here.

"Why would I feel like I had to do that? You work here. I'm your boss." She pointed out to me before she walked around me.

"So you keep reminding me." I wasn't letting her off that hook that easily so I followed her back to her desk as she started to put things away and do...whatever it is that she does. "I've worked for you for over a year now. The least you could do was give me a head's up that my ex is coming to work here."

"Why? Would you have gone with Dawn?" She asked me, and I couldn't really get a read on her. Was she hopeful? Maybe I should just get another job. I frowned. What would I do? What could I even put on my resume? Has really great beheading skills?

"No." I said defensively, now that I had thought out what the alternative might be. "It would have just been nice to know."

"And it would be nice if you weren't in here bothering me right now, but here you are." She smiled at me a little bit before she went back to doing what she was doing. Like I wasn't even here. Why did I put up with her again? Because flipping burgers at the Double Meat was a lot worse than this. I might want to strangle Cordelia most of the time but at least the work is enjoyable.

"I'm going to stop being surprised at how unbelievably self-centered you are. One day." My voice was angry as I stormed out.

"Takes one to know one!" I heard her shout as I slammed the door behind me. I couldn't wait to tell Spike who my new co-worker was. Because that was going to go over really well.

Life is a Soundtrack
Rules:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie.

( here )

We were taking up nearly a wing of the whole hospital. The emergency room wasn't really equipped to deal with us all so the really bad emergencies were kept down there for awhile while everyone else was put into intensive care no matter how severe the injury. Lily had been in emergency by the time I got to the hospital but Dawn was in intensive care. The entire wing was littered with nervous slayers and friends pacing and worrying. It took so long to get someone to give me an update on Dawn that I was automatically fearing the worst. How could I not? When it rains it pours and we might have won the war but there was always a price to be paid, always. This was ours.

I knew that good people had died tonight and I hated myself a little bit as I prayed that it wasn't Dawn or Lily. Take anyone but them. I felt responsible for all of the slayers but out of them all I had gotten to know Lily the best when she had stayed at my house for awhile after Sophia had tortured her. She'd come to me for help, not Faith or Kennedy when Aidan had used her for his sick experiments. And it was up to me to keep her safe when we walked into that building. We should have never let her go in there, but I knew she was stubborn and that there was no possible way that she would have backed down. Just like I felt responsible for Angelus once upon a time, she had felt responsible for Aidan. Normally I wouldn't blame her for it but when I walked past Tyler and saw the look on his face I blamed her. I did. But not half as much as I blamed myself.

And Dawn.... I should have never let her get involved with this at all. I was happy to just let her stay with Lex and never get word about what was going down. Unfortunately, with Lex's relationship to Harry and Wolfram and Hart it didn't stay a secret from my little sister for very long. Now she was in a room somewhere with a head injury. I had no idea how severe it was or the exact extent of her injuries. The only thing the busy doctor had told me was that she was still unconscious.

When they finally let me in to see her I pressed my mouth into a thin line. If you could ignore the bruises on her face it was almost like she was just sleeping. At least now I knew that she was going to be okay eventually. She just needed to wake up and I had no idea how long I would have to wait for it. The sound of grief was invading the room and so eventually I had to get up and close he door. People crying, outbursts of anger and sadness was something I had worked hard to block out as I sat in the waiting room but now I couldn't deny it.

Sitting down next to her I tried my best to be patient and wait for her to wake up.

"What is that all about anyways?" I asked. It was a reasonable question and I didn't understand why I wasn't getting an answer. Not that I was really looking for an answer, just somewhere to vent my feelings now that I didn't have Xander and Willow around as much as I used to. "I mean, hello, their relationship? Was like a zillion years ago." I pointed out. "It's not like I'm all hung up on my exes. Well...not much anyways." I shrugged. "Yeah, okay we had the cookie dough speech but Angel's moved on and I've...mostly moved on." I said. "But still, it's not like Angel's all evil vampire trying to end the world with the death, murder, kill. At least, not right now anyways. Which is more than I can say for Sophia." I finished angrily as I shot out with another kick that any of the fighters on American Gladiator would be envious of sending the vampire back down to the ground. Sometimes this was the best way to vent. "She killed Faith's daughter." I said as I shot out with a quick fist to the face. "I should stake her for that. We can't just go around saving every vampire that Spike likes." I finished off with four more punches.

"Dude, is that a vamp or your therapist? Would you kill the poor guy already? Although listening to you go on and on could be worse torture than actual death." A surly voice drawled out as I looked up to see a familiar figure lounged on top of a crypt.

"I'd ask for your help but we both know you hit like a girl." I retorted as I narrowly missed getting my head taken off by the vampire I'd been using as a punching bag. Finally deciding to end it since Faith had so rudely interrupted me I pulled the stake from my jacket pocket and slammed it home. "That never gets less satisfying."

"Issues, huh?" Faith asked as she finally jumped down from the crypt so that she was back on the ground with me. "You know you can pay people to listen to those now."

"I find slaying more effective and less costly." I quipped back as I put my stake back into my jacket pocket. "What brings you out here anyways? This isn't your usual side of town. If you even have a side of town anymore."

"Hey, I patrol." Faith said as the two of us started to walk through the cemetery. "Alright, fine. I teach other girls how to patrol and then I kill things when I'm antsy."

"Looks like I'm not the only one with issues." I pointed out to her. "How are you though. Really?" I asked her changing my tone completely. "I wanted to come visit you after I heard about Lexi. I just...." What? Got busy? I didn't really have a good excuse for this one other than I thought Faith would rather deal with it alone. At least, that's how she seemed to prefer it. And besides, I was busy being PI girl.

"I'm fine, y'know." Faith replied. "Just tryin' to look straight ahead instead of focusing on the past. Nothin' I can do about that." She shrugged as the two of us came to a clearing in the dense trees that seemed to populate this particular cemetery. "What would you do if I told you there's a big fight comin' up and I need you there?" She asked me.

"I'd say where and when." I smiled softly at her in the dark. "This has to do with Wolfram and Hart doesn't it? Please tell me I get to kick Aidan Hart's ass."

Faith arched an eyebrow in my direction. "You got a beef with Aidan?"

"Big one." I admitted. "Oh yeah. And not even a little beef. More like a big meaty steak. It's a whole lot of beef."

"Noted." Faith said as she gave me a confused look before shaking her head. "I'm not really sure what's gonna go down yet but it's gotta be soon. I kind of really pissed off at least one of the senior partners. I'm lookin' to put the smack down before I get my ass killed. James said I was gonna lose everything before he killed me. He's already killed a few slayers from the school. I'm getting 'em ready for battle, B but they're so young. I dunno if they're ready for this."

"They're ready." I nodded at her reassuringly. "And so am I. Just tell me what you need and when."

"Cool. I'll be in touch. I'm thinkin' we all need to go underground for a little while. I'm gonna try and find Harry and Angel." Faith said as she already started to retreat into the darkness. Almost as if she'd never even been here. "Thanks, B." Was the last thing I heard from her voice before I was completely alone again.

I sighed loudly in the darkness. "That still doesn't really fix my problem." I announced as I put my hands on my hips.

Everyday I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving.
- Albert Einstein

The first time I met the First Slayer I didn't really know what to think of her. She was so different than I was and when we were trapped in that dream all she tried to do was kill me and my friends. It kind of makes it hard to find a common ground. Plus the whole desert grunting, bad dreadlocks and loincloth were sort of a turnoff. I don't mean to be judgmental but at the time she never really gave me a reason not to be. Her version of what a slayer meant was the polar opposite of what it means to me.

It wasn't until the First started to take over Sunnydale that I began to learn more about her. In fact, she even had a name (according to Willow) Senaya. See, Senaya was just this girl in Africa and this group of stuffy old guys were too wimpy to fight demons on their own so they chained her down and used magicks to infuse Senaya with the demon. I know, it turns out the same thing I had been fighting all along had always been inside of me. Because that's how the slayers were born, girl mixed with demon. Now, I'm not so big on the history lessons but I think that this is an important one. I hope Kennedy and Faith are teaching the girls at school about it.

I don't really agree with what the first watchers did to her. I know it's important that the slayer exists but it should have never been up to a bunch of guys to decide to force it on someone else. If they had even half of a spine they would have done it themselves. Now centuries later and they were still trying to control me. Enough is enough, too many slayers have been held down by the Watcher's Council and it was long past time we took the title back and made our own decisions.

When I think back to the line that formed behind me, that made me the way I am today it's definitely not a bunch of watchers. When I close my eyes and dream at night I see the other girls that came before me. I see them fight and I see them try and sometimes I even watch them die. They all died eventually, and they died to protect us, to make sure that we still had a place to call home.

That's a lot more important to me than a bunch of guys who know a few magick tricks. I know where I come from and it's not from them.

Spike probably still curses this day but last Christmas he gave me the best Christmas present I'd ever gotten. Sure, it wasn't a car like Harry and Faith got me and it wasn't a shiny weapons chest (which still remains the best birthday gift ever, Xander!) but it was a puppy. I used to beg Mom for one when I was a kid and then when I was a teenager I was grateful that she always said no after Angelus slayed Willow's fish. But hopefully nobody who enjoys nailing puppies to trees is going evil anytime soon and if they do they can consider themselves uninvited to the beach house where Ralphie lives with me, Spike and Cordelia.

Ralphie is a little Yorkie and the day I saw him I fell in love with him. He chewed up Spike's boots but Ralphie has really good taste. He never touches my stylish yet affordable and (somewhat) modest shoe collection. I think it's definitely good taste and not a preferance for me because he never goes near Cordelia's shoes either but he loves gnawing on Spike's boots. I think it's cause he likes Spike or maybe he just really likes to get Spike all riled up and grr. I just roll my eyes and Cordelia laughs when he gets that way but secretly I think it's kind of funny.

Spike complains about Ralphie a lot but then somedays I'll come home from a late night patrol and catch him out on the back deck with my dog, scratching him behind his ears and talking to him. He'll probably be mad at me for spilling his secret and ruining his vampire street cred but it's kind of cute and I've been keeping that one to myself for way too long now.

No matter what Spike or Cordelia complain about I love Ralphie and I'm never ever getting rid of him. He gets me my slippers at night even if I do have to wipe some of the drool off of them. And he's always so excited to see me everytime I get home. Ralphie is pretty much the best dog ever.

I can still remember it so clearly if I really think about it. I know, most people don't try too hard to think about the most painful day of their lives, but if you ask Xander he'll tell you it's me so I have to go there. I've been there so many times before with the guilt and the pain and the....well, lots of other stuff. It's been a few years since then, almost a decade but sometimes that night still haunts me, that whole year does. Giles prepped me the best that he could but nothing could ever prepare me for Angelus. See, it wasn't enough for my ex to torment me and my friends endlessly. No way. He had bigger plans than that. Like, uber big plans. End of the world as we know it plans in the form of one stupid statue called Acathla. It turned out that Angelus could push me pretty far but putting my best friend in the hospital, kidnapping my watcher and trying to end the whole world? Well, that was just crossing a line. I later found out that Willow hadn't passed the message of "kick his ass" along after all. That was just Xander being Xander. But even with Willow's magick evil-b-gone spell, it wouldn't have helped. In fact, it just made it harder. Acathla was there, I could see his mouth widening ready to swallow all of us into hell and there was Angel, looking at me like....like he used to. And he didn't remember any of it, I knew that he didn't but by that point I didn't have a choice. So I ran him through with a sword and I pushed him into hell because there was nothing else I could do.


Graduation was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. I guess it's like any other Buffy event, filled with the fighting and the dying. Well, I didn't die...that time. But lots of other people did. Still, it was strange after three years of being practically an outcast at Sunnydale High and suddenly the entire school was flanked at my sides ready to do battle against giant snake guy. Most schools plan a trip to somewhere, like Disney Land or something for Senior Class Bonding. But my school? Oh no, we had giant snake guy wanting to have us all for breakfast. Or dinner. Some meal, whichever meal that giant snakes eat. In the end we had to blow up the whole school to stop the Mayor. At least in the end Giles managed to salvage my diploma. That was a big one, the whole graduation thing but I can get all metaphory another day.


From the very first minute I felt Glory's fist practically break my face in half I knew she was gonna be a problem. Back then I didn't have a clue, not about Dawn, not about any of it. When Glory managed to steal Dawn from me, I just shut down. I was completely catatonic and just ready to be done. I didn't wanna fight anymore, I was so tired of trying so hard only to lose in the end. Glory was unstoppable and I just wasn't strong enough. Luckily for me my best friends weren't willing to let me go so easily and Willow managed to break in and save the day. I knew what the rest of them were thinking right before we left to go and show down with Glory. They thought that all of this could be finished if we could just let go of Dawn. I can't blame them for thinking it, Glory seemed just as formidable to them as she did me. But I didn't care if Dawn wasn't really my sister, in my memories, in my heart she would always be flesh and blood to me. The only thing I had left after Mom was gone. I needed her, but more than that I needed her to keep going even if I couldn't. It was the end of the world again and with my friends at my side we managed to get the better of even a hell God who was ready to unleash hell on earth. Dawn was the only thing I could think about as I walked to that stupid tower, she was my greatest strength when I threw myself off of it.


Angelus didn't even begin to prepare me for Willow. She was running off straight grief when that stray bullet accidentally hit Tara. Accident or not, annoying evil jerk or not? We couldn't just go around killing people, no matter what they had done to us. The police needed to take care of this one, it wasn't in my hands but that wasn't enough for Willow. I couldn't even begin to imagine how powerful she was until she tried to end the world. She's the strongest person I know and suddenly I had to fight her. Because it wasn't enough to kill Warren, she wanted to destroy the world. The credit on this one actually has to go to Giles because he was the one who managed to trick her with the whole magick transfery thing. Even so, I was ready to fight my best friend if that was what it took.


The First Evil. The end of the world. Blah blah blah it was all old hat by then. It was supposed to be the big bad incorporeal king of evil but the only power the First really had was the ability to mess with our minds. It could appear as anything it wanted which was pretty tough on a lot of people, especially my sister when the First showed up looking like my mom. That and the Uber Vamps which were admittedly pretty badass. But this time I had an army by my side and a pretty strong one at that. Add in a little hocus pocus from Willow and you've got yourself a full scale war. The end of the world? Just another day in Sunnydale. The last day in Sunnydale.

So it's the end of the world and what do we do?

We fight.

Spike grumbled through the entire ceremony but Buffy was enraptured. Granted, she's had more than her fair share of concerns when it comes to Lex Luthor and all of the history surrounding him and his family. It's times like these where she has to remind herself that once upon a time she was ostracized from an entire community because she burned a school gym down. Everyone has reasons for doing what they do and Dawn's reasons for marrying him are clearly written across her face. She's never seen love shine so brightly through Dawn's smile before as it does when she says her vows.

Pride swells through her chest throughout the ceremony and continues later throughout the reception. The Luthor name is notorious and no expense is spared but Buffy is too dazzled by the weight of the party than the actual pomp and circumstance. Dawn's her little sister and this is one of those moments Buffy has waited for. A reason. A reason for saving the world, for giving her life, for taking care of Dawn even when she was barely but a child herself. She does it for her.

"I'm so proud of you." She whispers to the bride when she finally gets her alone for a few minutes. Her arms wrapped tenderly around her sister as she just holds her there for a minute. "No matter what, I'm always your family." Buffy promises as she kisses Dawn on the forehead before releasing her.

Later on she stands with Spike in the crowd and watches Dawn dance with her new husband and she can't help but smile.

I always thought the whole bad birthday thing was inclusive of all slayers but Faith and Kennedy seem to do just fine with theirs. Not that I know that specifically because...well, I don't even know when their birthdays are but it's not so obviously bad that you might as well go into hiding on their birthday and stay indoors just in case a pesky apocalypse decides to stop in.

There's just three ensy words I'd like to point out when I think of birthday cakes. Buffy. Birthday. Bad. Like, world of badness. Me and birthdays are just two totally unmixy things. Kind of like Sigried, Roy and the tiger that almost ate Roy's face off. You think you know something, that it's just an everyday part of life and then bam. Tiger fangs embedded in your face.

I lost my virginity on my birthday. It was everything it was supposed to be. I was young and naive and sweet and in love and the moment was right, until well, my boyfriend went all evil and tried to kill me and all my friends. Yeah, losing my virginity could pretty much be a timeless cautionary tale for all teenage girls. And of course it happened, on my birthday.

And just when I thought my seventeenth birthday was bad enough the infamous Council decided to test my birthday patience with a stupid test on my eighteenth birthday. Picture it with me if you will. Me, less slayer powers. Crazy vampire, with plenty of vampiry power and my mom held hostage. It was supposed to be some big test but really what it should have been called was Buffy Smörgåsbord.

Cut to my twentieth birthday where Glory is trying to kill us all and we find out that Dawnie is some mystical key. Which was something we probably should have told her but didn't and then she went off and Nancy Drewed it out on her own with Spike's help. Let's just say the reaction wasn't exactly desired. Not that you could really blame her, but a happy birthday memory? Not so much.

Flash forward to year twenty one and this time Buffy's birthday features Spike and Clem in my house playing Monopoly with some guy that my friends tried to set me up with. Like that isn't disastrous enough it turns out that Dawn decided to make a wish to a vengeance demon. One in which nobody can actually leave the house. Ever.

I'm twenty five now, and to be fair the last few birthdays I've had have been fairly anticlimactic. Do you ever wonder what the reason is for that?

Ooh ooh. Me! I have the answer.

It's because I don't celebrate them anymore.

Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you

The one thing I never expected from my friends, my family and the potential slayers that I had been looking after, was for them to throw me out of my own house. Okay, maybe I can understand Kennedy and the rest of the slayers being a little upset at how hard I was on them sometimes, and I get why Faith wanted to play leader. But Willow and Xander? Dawn? Nothing was worse than hearing it out of the mouth of my own sister, that I was being reckless and suddenly couldn’t be trusted to lead them anymore. After everything I’d sacrificed for them, how hard I’d worked and lost to keep them alive. They really wanted me to leave and preferred Faith, the ex-convict to take on the leadership role. There have been a lot of times when I’ve been alone, where I’d have to be the one to make the hard decisions and go on my own. But that night was the first time I’d ever really felt alone.

Backbeat the word is on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt

Spike was there that night. I guess by that point in time the First had already taken so much control of Sunnydale that nobody really owned anything anymore. Vampires could just come and go into houses all willy nilly, because we didn’t own the town anymore, they did. I was ready to give up, to lay down my armor and watch how everything unfolded with the potential slayers and Faith. For all I knew, they were right and I had lost the ability to think clearly. But then Spike was there when no one else was. Spike and I had our ups and downs the year before, I know that we both hurt each other more than either one of us wanted to admit. But that night he was there for me when nobody else was, he picked me up off the ground and dusted me off when no one else could.

I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

I never thought Spike would be the one to give a pep talk, but we all surprise ourselves and Spike has a habit of surprising me even when I don’t want to let him. I’d always assumed that Spike only ever did anything if there was something in it for him, but that night he didn’t ask me for anything. He just stayed with me, because I needed someone to stay with me, to make me feel a little less alone in the world. But more than that, he believed in me even when I couldn’t believe in myself.

Said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You’re gonna be the one that saves me

"Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for." -Dag Hammarskjold

The First Slayer told me that death was my gift. Not exactly the kind of thing every girl wants to hear but nobody ever let me forget that I wasn't just some girl. I could wave the pom poms and try to have the normal boyfriends and go to parties and spend a fortune on clothes and primp in front of the mirror but it didn't matter, I was still the Slayer. I'm not all with the embracing of my inner darkness or whatever it is that a thousand different people have tried to tell me.

I think that's what I thought about. Beyond saving my sister and the world and my friends and the great release that was bound to follow a sacrifice like that. I was thinking about all of the things that everybody has ever said about me. My entire life my friends, my watcher, my parents, Faith, Spike, Angel, Riley, demons, coworkers, teachers- you get the picture, I don't really have to go on here. Everyone was always telling me what I am and the First Slayer made it pretty clear when she hijacked my dreams. What was the difference between being the Slayer and being a killer? The line gets a little fuzzy there and when she told me that death was my gift I didn't want to believe it, because I couldn't believe that being the Chosen One meant that I was destined to be a killer.

I was thinking about all of the things that I've ever been called, both the good and the not so good and decided right then and there that nobody, nothing could define me except for me. I'd saved the world more times than I could count and even though I won those battles I still lost something along the way. Eventually all of those losses can eat away at you until there's nothing left and if there's nothing left then I would become the First Slayer. She didn't start out all bad, she was a girl just like all of the rest before they put a demon inside of her and made her a weapon. I might have been a weapon, but I wasn't a killer. And even if by some insane stretch of the imagination I became that I don't think I would have ever been able to look my sister in the eyes and let her throw herself off of that ledge. She'd already given me so much, she gave me a reason to keep fighting. Xander, Willow, Giles... I wanted to be something better for them, give them something better.

Being the Slayer is lonely no matter which way you slice and dice it, but I wasn't looking for an escape when I leaped off of that ledge. Death was my gift, but it was going to be on my terms.

I need a vacation. Like a real vacation away from California and the freaky deaky. Of course, I probably wouldn't get very far before the ick managed to worm it's way back into my life. You think the supernatural would set up some kind of communication wave. Like a do not disturb sign on the door or a memo or something or maybe a fruit basket. Just a little something that says I'm not in right now and the only thing I feel like battling with is a hangover from Mai Tais in Hawaii. Alright, maybe scratch the Hawaii part because Spike would want to come with me and that whole sunlight allergy would be the ultimate suck. Maybe we could go to New York. It's shady there.

Let's be honest, I'm not going anywhere. Not while there's visions to be solved, slaying to be done, Faith is missing and Harry is holding hostages at Wolfram and Hart. Although having Cordelia as a permanent house guest makes my sudden urge for vacation seem like an even better idea. I know that she needs somewhere to stay but you try living with a moody vampire and the former May Queen of Sunnydale High. Yesterday they spent the entire day fighting about Spike's music which arguably is pretty terrible but Cordelia isn't exactly the Queen of Tact.

If anybody needs any help with anything, any help with anything let me know. Not that I'm looking for an excuse to get out of the house or anything but oh my God I'm going to put both of them in the hospital if they don't stop bickering. And apparently? I'm never gonna get that vacation.

How many labs exactly do I have to destroy before you get the message? You may be a senior partner, but you know what? I don't really care. Because you see, I've fought ancient vampires and hell gods and even the original source of all evil and do you know what all of those things had in common? I beat them all. Everyone else might be running scared, but I'm not everyone else. Now I was willing to be the bigger person here and give everybody a chance and not go all Joan Crawford on you, until you crossed the line by fucking with my slayers. Yeah, that's right. I said they're mine, I'm responsible for them.

So before you get any not so bright ideas about strapping anyone else down and playing doctor with your drugs or actually going near any of them, including Lily ever again, I will make you pay.

Are you following me here or do you need me to fax the cliffnotes on getting sent back to hell to your secretary?

//locked from the boys, yes all of them//

( Everytime I see you falling I get down on my knees and pray... )

Reply to this post, and I'll tell you one reason why I like you. Then put this in your own journal, and spread the love.

I hope everyone had a good Christmas. Mine was pretty quiet, which is actually good because we all know how Buffy holidays turn out usually. The reasons why I don't celebrate my birthday hold true for Thanksgiving, Christmas and pretty much any other celebration you can think of. Spike and I had a quiet Christmas. I didn't really cook anything because I think we all know how dangerous that is. Instead we got yummy takeout, or I got yummy takeout and Spike ate one of those weird onion flower things he likes.

I did finally get the present I've been waiting almost two decades for finally. Spike brought me home the cutest little puppy ever. I named him Ralphie and he's the sweetest little puppy ever. I bought him one of those cute little puppy outfits and he loves it, even if he keeps barking alot. I think he's barking cause he's happy.

I hope everyone had a good Christmas. I'm enjoying the week off that the PI Nazi Cordy gave me and Dawnie. I am getting a little bored though, and Spike's mad cause Ralphie pee'd on his coat, so if anyone wants to hang just let me know.

To whomever it may concern especially you Dawn and Faith and Harry,

For the benefit of everyone's sanity can people please inform their family members/friends before publically announcing that they are either planning to or have already gotten married.

Thanks,

Buffy and Angel

Spike won't stop singing LL Cool J, which normally might be okay but now it's stuck in my head all...British sounding. Harry Osborn, I know you had something to do with this. Right now I'm hiding in the office so I don't have to listen to more top hits of the early nineties with random 'bloody hells' thrown into the middle of the chorus. So now here I am, taking a stupid quiz thing on my blog. Check me out, I'm totally hip now.

You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.

No.
Explanations.

1. Yourself:
slayer

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend (spouse):
vampire

3. Your hair:
pigtails

4. Your mother:
gone

5. Your Father:
jerk

6. Your Favorite Item:
MrPointy

7. Your dream last night:
sexy

8. Your Favorite drink:
mocha

9. Your Dream Car:
unwreckable

10. The room you are in:
pretty

11. Your Ex:
gay

12. Your fear:
solitude

13. What you want to be in 10 years?
35

14. Who you hung out with last night?
Spike

15. What You're Not?
pushover

16. Muffins:
crunchymunchy

17. One of Your Wish List Items:
pet

18. Time:
afternoonish

19. The Last Thing You Did:
email

20. What You Are Wearing:
clothes

21. Your Favorite Weather:
sunny

22. Your Favorite Book:
old

23. The Last Thing You Ate:
yogurt

24. Your Life:
strange

25. Your Mood:
cheerful

26. Your best friend:
blessings

27. What are you thinking about right now?
swimming

28. Your car:
non-existant

29. What are you doing at the moment?
typing

30. Your summer:
island

31. Your relationship status:
complicated

32. What is on your TV?
nothing

33. What is the weather like?
nice

34. When is the last time you laughed?
now


Hey Cordy, when do you want me to come in for work? I mean, if you even still want me to work for you.